Tuesday, November 20, 2007

It's that time of year again to show your loved ones you care...

...by ignoring them and sitting in front of hours of football all day on a Thursday.

It's holiday season again sports fans and guess which one comes 2nd (the 1st being Homecoming passing a couple weeks ago) it's Thanksgiving. So with that it's time to sit back and thank those who have made these last weeks, months, and years so important to me. Here comes my list. of things that I'm thankful for.

Michael Vick going to jail for harming dogs in the name of "sport".
OJ Simpson maybe going to jail for life for conspiracy charges and aggravated kidnapping charges, I just want him locked up the remainder of his life. I don't know how he got off after cutting two people's heads clean off 14 years ago, but hopefully this time around he gets what's coming to him.
The chance that the distinguished Henry Aaron will once again be the Home Run king, maybe Barry will have more, but at least Hank will hold the record for most Home Runs for someone who never served time.
My family and friends.
The fact that this year's Territorial Cup game between the Cats and the Scum Devils in Tempe will be one of the biggest yet, and a Kitty Kat victory means a Bowl Game.
Birthdays at work, Bagels, Cake, or Donuts in the Kitchenette, good stuff, makes the day a little bit better.
Caddyshack, Animal House, Fletch, Boondock Saints and most of the Kevin Smith movies, you cannot be overly thankful for such great things.
Bowl Season.
Kevin Everett walking again, I don't know why I have taken such an interested approach to this story but as I have mentioned in earlier posts this is the story of the year in my book.
Rivalry Week/Rivalry Games.
Tom Emankski's instructional Baseball videos, without them I would never be able to throw a ball into a trashcan at home plate from left center. Thanks Tom. (Did you know that The Crime Dog Fred McGriff supports these videos, and he was one of the all time greats).
Beer, Whiskey, Deep Dish Pizza, Chicken Wings, Hot Dogs (done right), Brats, Sausages, Red Meat, Potatoes, and the invention of the BBQ Grill.
The comedy of Dennis Leary, Brian Regan, Dane Cook's early stuff, Steven Colbert, and the late Mitch Hedberg.
The Stones, The Beatles, CCR, 7 minute long solo's, DMB, Jack Johnson, Ben Harper, acoustic guitars, George Strait, Tracy Lawrence, Garth Brooks, Merle Haggard, Hank Williams, and the legendary Man in Black Johnny Cash.
The infield Fly Rule.
No DH in the NL.
2007 College Football season.
Top Chef: specifically Chef Collichio, Padma inferring that Gail Simmons of Food and Wine Magazine (I think that's actually her full name since that's all I've ever heard her called) is a slut, Harold, his Lisa Frank Pencil, "I'm a cook", gritty mushrooms, raw pepper, Dave "Chef Cry", Stephen the Sommolier, "It is what it is", everyone's hatred for Marcel a.k.a. Rocketboy, Cliff, Sam, Mike "Betty Crocker meets Charles Manson", and last but not least C.J. Big Time.
Bruce Willis refusing to let Det. John McLane go, I am all for Die Hard's being made until Bruno is on oxygen between takes.
Boston's MLS team losing (enough Boston teams winning constantly). I don't know what's more annoying, the fact that they are dominating every sport, the fact that they feel the need to let everyone know, constantly, that they're dominating every sport, or the fact they do it with that wicked awful accent.
Rushing the Field.
NOT having to hear John Madden talk about Mutant turkeys and circle yams and pumpkin pies with his telestrator on Thursday.
Seriously Turkey, Duck, Chicken, layers of stuffing in between. Also, there are variations where they throw in a Game Hen or Sausage just to further clog arteries.
Board games and trivia games, I haven't met a worthy adversary in awhile.
TV and Movie Marathons.
The Autumn months where football (NCAA and NFL) can literally be found on TV almost every night, and if it isn't on the World Series is or else there is (NCAA or NBA) basketball on.
Anthony Bourdain: Cook, Author, TV Personality.
Vic Chanko: Tony's alter celebrity ego, Vic doesn't climb mountains.
March Madness.
Spring Break.
The Hansen Brothers puttin on the foil.
Wireless Internet.
The Asterisk *
Tony Romo a.k.a. Bromo taking over the NFC and Jason Whitten scoring TDs sans helmet (and this coming from a guy who hates the Cowboys).
Kevin Costner movies: Bull Durham, Field of Dreams, The Untouchables, and Wyatt Earp, not Dances with Wolves or Waterworld
The slew of jokes that will follow the above statement.
Bill Murray, Chevy Chase, Harold Ramis, John Belushi, Dan Akroyd and their followers, Chris Farley, Will Farrell, Vince Vaughn, and sometimes the Wilsons or Stiller.
And of course the people who made me who I am today, through their teachings and morals I have become the man I am Thank You: John Wayne and Mike Ditka.